Mama~Twana's House

Met an awesome goal today!

2011-02-24T13:11:00.000-08:00

So last week I wrote that I was hoping to get below 218 before the 25th. Today is the 24th and I am sooo happy to report that I not only met that goal I crushed it! I weighed in today at 217!! Tomorrow marks 42 days on VLCD (very low calorie day) on phase 2 of the HCG diet.

This diet has been monumental in fixing my health issues and lowering my weight quickly. I am seeing it work and I am so happy to have found it!

I havent vlogged for almost two weeks... I am such a slacker! I start phase 3 on Monday and I am excited to see how that goes :)

My husband has started the hcg diet and is doing very well. I am so proud of how he's doing!

If you have questions dont hesitate to ask!

Love and Health,

~Mama T

One week to go...

2011-02-18T09:23:00.000-08:00

So in 7 days I will stop my drops for my first round of phase 3. I am excited and worried all at the same time. I find the structure of phase 2 of this diet easy. i know what I am allowed to have and how much to see results. I dont know my body well enough yet to know what foods will cause a gain. I do still see smaller losses after eating cabbage - ugh so terrible because I just love it! Its okay though - I will just skip it for now.

But!!! I am soo excited - I have not been able to take my wedding ring off for 4 years now! I was able to take it off yesterday! I have been worried since the prongs havent been serviced since I got the new ring 4 years ago. That is 4 years people! My ring is a size 7 and at 250 pounds my finger is a size 9... That is a tight fit for sure! My finger looks rediculous so I have a space saver I bought from Walmart for super cheap until I get mine back.

I also am finding comfort in knowing I have so many people to rely on for support in the HCG community. They are all so wonderful.

Until next time,

Love and Health

~Mama T

Made 25 pounds in 28 VLCD!!

2011-02-12T20:16:00.000-08:00

Hey all - I am really not doing much reporting lately but I am updating my weight charts each day.

Today however I reached my first goal!!! I got to 10% released! I am so stinking excited. I have 2 weeks left of this round and I want to make sure to get to a mini goal. I left this blog vacant last May weighing 218.8... I really want to end this round at or below that. I am super excited to see that number again and cant wait until I can start my second round!

I hope you all are doing wonderfully :)

Love and Health,

~Mama T

The importance of creating small goals...

2011-02-06T19:19:00.000-08:00

So I have really begun to forget all the things that are so important when transforming yourself. I find myself looking at the huge number still left to go to get to my goal. It is so intimidating.

But then I realize my first goal was to reach 10% lost and Im less than 5 pounds away! My next goal: onederland! Next goal: 179 (185 is a big setpoint for me and a regular stopping point in the past)! After that: 149 and finally 130-135.

If you break it down like little projects it all adds up to the final goal but so much less stressful.

Here are some key reminders I use to keep from getting overwhelmed. I hope they can help you too!

1. It takes time and patience no matter what program you are on.

2. Small choices make small successes which over time equal big successes.

3. You did not gain 120 pounds overnight. Therefore losing it overnight is out of the question.

4. Your journey is BIGGER than the scale!!!

5. Today is just as important as tomorrow and day after that and the day after that.

6. Learn from each day how important your health is and this is not only about losing the extra weight.

7. Remember that small goals are key to your motivation!

8. Communicate with yourself daily and remember the positives and forgive the struggles. The last thing you need is to beat yourself up!

9. Have a support person - someone who can help you see how far you have really gone.

10. Repeat 1-9 as needed.

I hope this post finds you in better health that yesterday and embracing more love for yourself and the journey you are on than you have felt in previous days.

Love and Health,

~Mama T

A gain... And a win

2011-01-31T13:51:00.000-08:00

So today the scale was not kind. I was up .8.... .8??? really? ugh. I was feeling pretty down about it but its one day - there are more days. And honestly Im doing really well! I mean 18.2 pounds in 17 days is nothing to be sad about! I tweaked protocol a little yesterday and it bit me in the butt. I guess an extra large cucumber in addition to my regular diet at this point was not cool... LOL

So about my win for today - I put on my size 16 pants for work! My work shirts are baggy... I am definately releasing some inches!

Super excited about it!

Hoping for a big release tomorrow :)

Love and Health,

~Mama T

over two weeks in - doing good but a vent anyway

2011-01-30T20:24:00.000-08:00

So I'm not a really public person in my personal life. I have a blog and I even vlog so its sort of a weird way to be. But in my day to day life I don't share a lot of stuff with people. I pick and choose who I share what with. Sometimes because I don't want to hear what they have to say or other times I don't want to have to explain myself.

Now as you know, I am on the HCG diet. I am because it was this or gastric bypass for me. I chose the diet. Now I don't like to tell everyone I know that this is what I'm doing. Of course I have to eat in front of other people and when they ask about my food, I simply explain it is for diabetes treatment and they always understand.

If I try to explain the HCG diet and everything it becomes a very complex conversation and most complex conversations are places for opinion.

On the matter of this subject others opinion are mute points. I am doing this diet for my health and to save my life. Others don't understand that just losing weight and cutting white bread and pasta aren't cutting it for me anymore. I have been there, done that and still had out of control blood sugars.

With HCG in less than 2 weeks my sugars came down and into normal range. Something NO OTHER diet has done for me. My foot still has neuropathy and its possible I will never have feeling there again but its a "battle scar" and I earned it... It is my fault my health has gotten so bad.

I have a question though - when you are doing something personal like losing weight or anything like that, do you tell a lot of people or just a select few? Am I weird to blog and vlog to strangers but not share with my personal network?

Anyways - This was just on my mind.

VLCD #16 Total weight released 19#

Love and Health,

~Mama T

I knew it! But its okay :)

2011-01-26T14:08:00.001-08:00

So today I lost none and gained none.

I figured it would be that way :) Its okay Im happy with my loss from yesterday!

Not everything goes the way we hope with our journeys but that is ooookaaaayyy!

Hope everyone is having a wonderful day!

Love and Health,

~Mama T

broke my stall

2011-01-25T16:32:00.001-08:00

yay!

so for the last 3 days i have had very small releases.

it has been ok but someone agrivating at the same time. but today i released 3 pounds!!! woot woot!

i was very excited but then i realized large releases usually mean a couple small ones.

When you dont get to eat a "great" dinner

2011-01-22T19:36:00.000-08:00

I say "Great" because I really don't know other than the RAVE reviews from the family!

I made Apple Sage Pork Loin, 4 Cheese Mashed Potatoes, Steamed Broccoli, and Peach slices.

The family was raving about the dinner which I didnt even get to sample! LOL

I just sat with them and ate my chicken and brussels sprouts which was also very good but I wouldnt go raving about for the next 20 minutes :)

Im really happy my family had a great dinner and I was happy to share the time with them. I have promised to make the dinner at least once a month since it was such a big hit!

As for my HCG update I am now down 12.4 pounds and its only Day 8 of VLCD!! I am amazed :)

Hope everyone is having a wonderful day!

Love and Health,

~Mama T

Changing relationships...

2011-01-21T09:33:00.000-08:00

So I have noticed the last few days I have felt a real shift. Things are easier... My body is accepting the changes I am making. I feel less fights with myself when I say no to food now.

Last night I went to skate night with my kids and they have popcorn and icee drinks there. I ALWAYS eat the popcorn... I love movie theater style popcorn. Yesterday I seriously didnt eat one kernal! I didnt even have to work at it.

I am so excited!

I woke up this morning down a total of 12 pounds. The bar at the top is almost down enough to see my starting weight! I am thrilled :)

I also have noticed I seem to forget if I have eaten or taken my drops. I NEVER forget if I have eaten or need to eat. That was super weird! LOL

Another thing... My blood sugar was only 133 this morning! I am so excited to see my body responding so well. I feel sooo much better :)

I hope things are going well with everyone!

Love and Health

A Goose Egg day and a Smile

2011-01-19T21:50:00.000-08:00

Hey everyone!

So today I stayed exactly the same as yesterday. i didnt cheat or go off plan or slack on my water but still didnt lose today.

AND THAT IS OKAY!

I expect my body to resist some. If I stay on protocol and not let these days get to me I will still reach my goal soon enough.

I had to travel out of town today but i brought tea, stevia packets, along with my lunch and a snack and I did great! I really like how Im feeling. Although earlier today I did have a low blood sugar episode within 10 minutes my body fixed itself. Im glad my body is getting better and handling weird little things like that.

Anyway, Just checking in!

Love and Health,

~Mama T

Week 1 almost done... And another release.

2011-01-18T11:09:00.000-08:00

Hey all!

I find myself working toward rethinking food. Its pretty cool actually, I mentally remind myself that I should not be eating this or that... I really think the discipline of this program is what makes it successful. There is no room for cheating because your body will keep the excess while on the HCG drops - always causing a gain.

If you are interested in starting HCG I HIGHLY RECOMMEND YOU FULLY research it FIRST. This is more complicated than you may think and requires 110% commitment.

So for an update! I had another 2.4 pounds released today!! WOOT WOOT. Now of course this is still week 1 and yesterday I only lost .8 so things will be yoyo like until things slow a bit but I am having a great time enjoying the larger losses for now... The important thing is that I dont get greedy. When on WW I would be happy with a 2.4 loss for the week let alone a single day! So I am happy with how things are going :)

Total loss so far on protocol is 8.8 and I am on Round 1 Phase 1 and Day 7.

Please let me know if you have questions!

Love and Health,

~Mama T

Feel like writing some...

2011-01-17T10:59:00.000-08:00

Sorry my posts have been so little. I feel like I have said most everything I needed to about my updates.

This post is just because I feel like writing. I was laying in bed last night and I noticed my body felt different. A lot less puffy! I even had an ankle!! LOL

I know at first things are mostly water but obviously I have been retaining a lot of water because I just cant believe how quickly my midsection has gone down... Like a deflating balloon.

Day 2 and 3 were over the weekend and I spent those at home and was busy with the family so I didnt get much time to stand around and notice my clothes already feel different. I was walking accross the sales floor today and noticed my booty wasnt bouncing around as much! haha

My arms also feel different which is AWESOME because my arms are one of my worst areas...

All in all I am even more excited!

Love and Health,

~Mama T

Doing good - HCG Day 6 VLCD #4

2011-01-17T09:34:00.000-08:00

So I have completed 3 whole days of the Very Low Calorie Diet portion of this program and I am super proud!!

In 5 full days I have "released" (as we HCG'rs say) 6.4 pounds! I am thrilled! I understand for the most part this will not keep up at this pace but I am going to enjoy the success day by day.

Remember, Successes are not measured only by pounds!!!

Happy Releasing,

~Mama T

Another good day :)

2011-01-16T22:25:00.000-08:00

So its late and Im pooped :) I lost 2.2 today so total I have lost 5.6. I hope things keep going so well!

I felt a little hungry tonight so I had two cups of hot tea and I was good to go!

Sorry I dont have the drive to type a bunch more today but I stayed up sooo late last night and only slept a little last night. gonna turn in a lot earlier tonight!

Love and Health,

~Mama T

Day 2 of the VLCD commences with good news!

2011-01-15T12:07:00.000-08:00

So this morning I woke up and weighed in at 247! Yay!!! Im so happy to see my body moving in the right direction. Of course most is water weight at this point but Im okay with that at this point... That water weight isnt good either!

Other good news: My blood sugar continues to creep down. My fastings have ALWAYS been my biggest challenge due to an abnormal process where my liver stores and releases too much sugar into my blood. I am extremely insulin resistant as well so the level of insulin being produced by my pancreas is also very very high. Today my fasting was 175 still very high but much better than the 225 it was a week ago!

One thing I am surprised by (even though everyone I have read about says so also) is how NOT hungry I am! I thought last night was gonna be tough because I love to snack at night. I mean really love to!

I keep hearing the not hungry thing gets even more so as your stomach shrinks!

Loving everything so far!

Love and Health,

~Mama T

HCG and me... day 3 - Day 1 VLCD

2011-01-14T20:15:00.000-08:00

So Day 1 of the Very Low Calorie Diet went pretty well...

I think I took my morning and afternoon drops too close together. I felt shaky around 3 and started getting a headache. I realized I have had zero caffeine. I took one excedrine migraine and a cup of tea. Much better with in 30 minutes. Now I feel great!

Im gonna make sure to drink tea more often now that Im aware of how extremely addicted my poor body is to it... Ugh.

Breakfast was a large apple (gonna buy smaller next time)

Lunch was Chicken breast with 2 c spinach with splash of vinegar and a grissini breadstick

Dinner was Chicken breast with 1 c steamed broccoli

Evening snack was 1/2 large apple and a melba toast.

If you guys have questions on anything just let me know!

Love and Health,

~Mama T

HCG and me - Day 2

2011-01-13T13:54:00.000-08:00

Still taking my drops and using these two days to really study up on how I can prepare the little bit of food I can begin eating tomorrow.

I find that eating when not hungry when someone tells you to eat when you arent hungry isnt very fun! How crazy is that? Most days I would eat just to eat and mostly for other reasons than being hungry. Well, having someone say, "Eat unhealthy as much as you want, when you want, and how ever much you want." Well, that makes it not fun!

So it is my lunch break and I know Im supposed to eat but NOTHING sounds good :(

More later :)

Love and Health,

~Mama Twana

HCG and me... day 1

2011-01-12T15:30:00.001-08:00

As you can see my last post was in May! At that time I had dropped from 252.4 to 218.2... so i should start by saying, i am currently 250.4 today.

My fasting blood sugar was 216 today. What's worse is it has been consistently that high!!! EEK!

My body is in crisis mode! I am 29 years old and have the body of an unhealthy person twice my age! I need to reset my body and fast!!

I was contemplating gastric bypass surgery and my doctor was on board due to the severity of how bad my blood work was. I have tried losing so many times and stall and cant get it fully under control.

He suggested I try HCG as a last resort before we start surgery consult. It was such a whirlwind of emotion. I am killing myself!

So fast forward a couple of weeks... Today I started my HCG drops and Phase 1. You are supposed to take the drops and eat fatty foods so I ate pizza for breakfast and carls jr for lunch and Mexi Restaurant for Dinner! I feel like crap!

For those unfamiliar with HCG its a very low calorie diet where the HCG allows your body to access your "reserve" fats first just like when you are pregnant and feeding a second person. It is the final of three different fats used in survival mode when faced with starvation. The only time your body has free access is with the help of the hormone HCG. Its pretty interesting to see how it all works :)

I have one more "junk" day and based on how I feel today I am looking forward to phase 2.

I am crossing my fingers!

Love and Health,

~Mama Twana

Special occasions. Do you allow yourself to splurge?

2010-05-07T16:44:00.001-07:00

Its my anniversary today and I am definately planning to be off plan this weekend as we are traveling out of town. Now this doesnt give me a free ticket to go crazy but I plan on enjoying myself. I will try to make good choices but Im not going to stress about this one little weekend.

I just had a YUMMY little treat that my hubby brought home as a surprise :) Salted Caramels. OMG this is a party in your mouth! Im sure they are probably 3 points or more a piece and I ate two but my goodness were the bestest treat ever!

He also brought these home!

Do you allow yourself "special" off plan times? Or how to you deal with these occasions?

Love and Health,

10 years ago...

2010-05-07T09:40:00.000-07:00

Today is my 10 year wedding anniversary. Through all the crazy times we have had, the hard times, the good times, the fun times, the sad times, we have stayed together.

It hasn't always been easy but I am very happy we have made this milestone in our lives.

I love you sweetie.

Kempo X from P90X, Eat my shorts!

2010-05-05T21:21:00.000-07:00

Man I feel fantastic! Let me tell you why :)

A year and half ago I bought my husband the P90X program and would NEVER have attempted this very scary workout. I mean, something that causes such a quick transformation must have some serious repercussions afterwards. Yikes! I was vowing to never make myself go through that torture.

Well, I have made myself start working out lately and have been attending turbo kick and zumba classes when I can. I believe I have made it to 5 classes now.

Monday I did Zumba and it was a weak workout! I mean I did sweat but Im crazy; When I work out I want to feel like I am gonna fall over when Im done. Zumba just cant do that for me.

I went to Zumba because I couldnt go to Turbo Kick because I had to work.

Tuesday I couldnt go to Turbo Kick because my husband worked late and Tuesdays schedule for us is super busy: School, Gymnastics, dinner, Soccer, Swimming. Turbo class overlaps gymnastics and dinner but is across town. I cant go if hes working so I didnt go.

Wednesdays I usually go to Turbo Kick at 5:30 but we had Cinco De Mayo dinner plans so I didnt go today either...

So instead of missing another workout, I worked out at home!! I loved it too! Hubby and Little T (daughter) worked out with me too. Mister C (son) started but quit 20 minutes in.

So heres why Im proud. I did the Kempo X from the P90X series and I ROCKED THE HOUSE! I kept up with the video and felt strong and amazingly powerful. I was always so scared to do this workout but I did it and did it well!

I feel just awesome right now :)

Have any of you done the P90X?

Love and Health,

Word Worthy Wednesday

2010-05-05T10:11:00.000-07:00

So this weeks Word Worthy Wednesday isnt really pretty or decorated but I dont think it needs it.

So often in our journeys to health we begin to stress about what may come, what the scale may say, how will we control ourselves at the dinner party. We also dwell on past experiences (not failures) that have given us less than expected results.

All we can do is focus on the now. How will you live your now?

Love and Health,

Just ate so now I need a nap?

2010-05-04T21:33:00.000-07:00

So I have been doing pretty well this week. I have been keeping things in check and even continuing to work out when I can. (My work schedule is super crazy)

I have been noticing for a few months that anytime I eat I feel SUPER tired afterwards. I used to think it was just that I ate the wrong foods and it was a side effect of my diabetes. But now that I have been eating better and keeping my carb intake under control I was hoping it would subside.

Im sitting here feeling like my eyes are gonna close on me as I type this. I ate roasted brussel sprouts and a turkey patty with no breading or bun. Not a refined carb in site and I still feel like Im just gonna pass out. It definately makes me question my original theory.

If anyone has any advise as to why food makes me so tired that would just be awesome!

Thanks everyone :)

Love and Health,

Time happens no matter what your choices are and a Word Worthy Wednesday

2010-04-28T08:22:00.001-07:00

So the last time I was on weight watchers my mom and I were both going to weight watchers together. I was losing weight at an average of about 10 lbs a month. My mom was doing great too but she was losing at a slower rate. She would see me 1.5-2 pound loss each week next to her .5-1.5 loss each week and get discouraged. Sometimes I wouldnt want to tell her how much I lost and one week after a small gain the week before I lost 3.5 pounds and just lied about how much I lost.

One day when she had done everything right and the results werent there she was almost in tears. I felt horrible that she was sad but I was so proud of her for making the right choices that week.

I looked at her and said, "This week would have went by even if you were eating the wrong foods, huge portion sizes, and not exercising. How does it feel knowing you made the right choices during that time?" I felt like someone had just rung a bell inside my head.

If I do nothing good for myself time goes by; if I make good healthy choices time goes by. It is NOT the end of the world either way.

Of course that thought rang true. Three years ago I stopped working on making good choices and guess what? Three years of bad choices is now behind me and I am now working on making choices that positively impact my life DAILY. By focusing on today I will see another 3 years go by. My choices during the days that make up that 3 years, 10 years, 25 years, 70 years will determine my quality of life.

If you have today, make the best choices that you can. Just remember, you will have tomorrow too :)

It is so important we focus on the positives and successes that we accomplish. Yeah, everyone gets in a funk now and then but its the positive thoughts that pull us out.

I challenge you to be proud of yourself! I leave you with this quote that I know so many of us will relate to:

Our world surrounds us with tools needed to be overweight, self conscious, and unhappy. It takes effort, more effort than anything else in this world for us to change that. It takes soul searching, it takes forgiveness, patience, a consistent effort, it takes growing as an individual. It is absolutely something that you can do. You just have to keep trying.

Love and Health,

When the scale doesnt say what it should

2010-04-24T23:27:00.000-07:00

So this week I followed plan very well. I had several of my weekly points left and I even did turbo kick one day (I usually dont exercise so this is good for me!) I weigh in at home each friday and all I wanted to do is make it past the 30lb mark this week.

I hopped on the scale and duh duh duhhhh I lost .4 this week. That isnt even 1/2 a pound people! So I immediately felt bummed but then I thought to myself, this week was FULL of successes! Who cares if the scale wasnt one of them! It is NOT about the number at this point! It is so much more~ Becoming a healthy, engergetic, and long living mother, wife, and daughter. I want to be a role model to my kids by more than do as I say not as I do.

I know the right answers I just need to follow them and over time I will become 100% of everything I know I am able to be.

Ahhhh... Life has been hectic this week but I wont let it control me. I am ready!

Love and Health,

You Are What You Eat

2010-04-21T22:15:00.000-07:00

This video definitely defines what my mind shift as been. Check it out! You Are What You Eat

Love and Health,

Turbo Kick!

2010-04-21T18:47:00.001-07:00

Another victory! I did a turbo kick class and Im super happy I did! I feel good and so excited I followed through. I was gonna do the Zumba class but my friend said the Turbo Kick class was a better workout. Boy was she right! Im still sweaty! LOL.

What did you accomplish today that made you proud?

Love and Health,

Word Worthy Wednesday

2010-04-21T10:17:00.000-07:00

So exercise has ALWAYS been something I have had a hard time getting "around" to. Even the last time I lost weight I did most with diet and a few walks. The last time I exercised consistently was in junior high. I was working out 3-5 times a week for a couple of years.

So I felt this was definitely relevant. I have a plan though. There are several classes that I can attend at the YMCA where Im already a member for the kids. Im going to make a schedule of all the classes and when they are and commit to at least 3 each week. I will have 7 work outs to choose from. I think little victories may just lead into a pattern of lots of victories :)

What is your favorite form of exercise? How did you get started?

Love and Health,

The Little Successes that make a Huge Difference

2010-04-21T09:20:00.001-07:00

My appetite has been insatiable these past couple of days. I have had a ton of stress this week at work. I found out Sunday that we are being audited on Tuesday. That means two things: 1. I have very little time to make sure everything is as right as possible. and 2. I have to work on my day off.

Sunday:

We visit my dad and his family to keep in touch and the kids can see their grandpa. Most of the time we end up going out for pizza :( Pizza is a cheesy goodness that I have a hard time eating in moderation but I have been working hard and doing better.

This week though they are going to do a late easter dinner. His wife's cooking is always fad laden, overly salted, and never has enough veggies to balance the meal. Ugh... "She's cooking??" says my 7 year old. "Yes honey, we need to be polite and not complain like last time" Son rolls his eyes.

She serves ham, heavy cream mashed potatoes, cream gravy, large dinner rolls, baked beans with hotdogs (weird right?), and halved ears of boiled corn on the cob. Now Im rolling my eyes.

I tried to eat sensibly but my stressful day at the office plus not eating a snack before we left I ate more than I should have.

******************************************************

Monday:

Get to the office early and lunch is packed. I ate my oatmeal and almonds quickly and got to work. Ahhh! By 1:00 I have to run a quick errand so I pick up 1/2 a subway sandwich because IM STARVING! Back to work and Im there until 6:00 were again I forgot to snack when I got hungry and now again feel STARVING. Pair this with a very stressed woman and you have snack searching Mama...

We are eating at my moms and they make Tilapia and steamed broccoli, cauliflower, carrots and asparagus. I eat slowly to try and enjoy my yummy food and felt okay after dinner. A little calmer and happy I didnt eat junk.

We went home to get the kids ready for tomorrow and then it strikes like a huge brick. Stress hunger. I have to go back to the office and make sure we are ready for tomorrows audit. I grab my wallet and tell my husband that I feel a junk night. He's like okay cool! (Silly man)

I head to the office and by the time Im done (nearly an hour and a half later) I realize the activity and distraction I am no longer craving all the junk!

I go home and get ready for bed ready for tomorrow :) Ahhh successes!

********************************************************

Tuesday:

Get to work at 5:45am for the audit. Not much sleep the night before considering I got home at 10pm. Sigh. Its supposed to be my day off. Anyway I had a few snacks packed. I stopped and got a small fatfree sugar free coffee. Victory #1 :)

Audit commences and I snack on a few almonds here, a couple of triscuits there as we go making sure to keep myself calm and hunger at bay. Eight hours later we are done and we got a green! Yay! Victory #2 :)

I made dinner instead of going out. We had gymnastics after school but soccer practice was canceled and I had time before swim class! So we ate at home. Victory #3 :)

********************************************

I realized how motivated I began feeling since I saw my choices that helped me after the bad one I made Sunday. I realized EVERYTHING is about balance! Maybe Im learning more this time than previous times. I realized Im gonna get this right as long as I make little victories along the way! How empowering.

What were some of your successes this week?

Love and Health,

Down 4!

2010-04-17T19:33:00.000-07:00

So, this week has gone very well. I am finding that focusing on the blog a little bit has helped to deal with the stress moments a little :) I have also been stumbling other blogs and have found some great blogs that I began following. I feel so motivated right now to keep making the right choices.

And how exciting that Roni posted my Word Worthy Wednesday Quote! That was super exciting - Thanks again Roni! You have been such an inspiration for me through the years. You are fantastic :)

I have to get kids ready for bed and bathtime, storytime, and bills await.

I appreciate all of the visitors that might trickle over from Roni's blog. I hope you find something that may have to coming back another time. I am just getting started but I will keep at it!

Love and Health,

Word Worthy Wednesday

2010-04-14T23:38:00.000-07:00

Jamie Oliver's Food Revolution

2010-04-14T14:17:00.000-07:00

So have you seen Jamie Oliver's Food Revolution? I am in FULL support of this movement! Both of my children maintain a healthy weight and an active lifestyle. Both are willing to discuss nutrition and health at any time and BOTH love to help prepare healthy home cooked meals.

Now I on the other hand began gaining weight around 7 years old. I remember in first grade we had to weigh at school. At 7 years old I weighed in at an average 57lbs. I remember that day distinctly. You see, my mother was an obsessive dieter and constantly was complaining about being overweight. As a child I was VERY aware in my mind that people eat a lot of food, get fat, and diet this way then diet that way.

By the time I was 10 I had gained 43 pounds and was a quite chubby but still tall for my age 4th grader. There was a girl in my class who weighed 69 pounds at 10.... I remember hating her.

I began my dieting struggles with my mother around that time. You see she was turning 30 and was losing her mind! Everyone always told her, "You think its hard to lose weight now, wait until you're 30" I mean it was full on starving, binging, richard simmons, weight watchers, susan Powter, mayo clinic, cabbage soup and so on craziness. I sadly was along for the ride. I stopped growing taller at about 10 1/2 and was 5 feet tall. Everyone had caught up to my height but my weight continued to creep up.

My weight has climbed a lot over the years all because I never saw a healthy relationship with food...

I believe in what Jamie is doing... It ALL starts with our kids... We are the ones who have to make the change for them!

Please watch his acceptance speech for the TED award http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jIwrV5e6fMY. I cry every time I have watched it.

This is a great article as well: http://eating.health.com/2010/03/05/school-meals-matter/

I encourage you to take the initiative to change your childrens world for the better. It begins in the home. It begins with you!

Love and Health,

On a roll and feeling great!

2010-04-13T12:09:00.000-07:00

Okay so for 3 days I have done well, I mean actually on plan and feeling good about it. It only takes one day as my favorite blogger Roni from Roni's Weigh has said before. Okay so now the eating is back under control and I have promised myself that it is now time to get more active. I need to find something I like doing... such a struggle.

I even am a member of a gym... grrr. why am I grrring? Oh probably because I am already talking myself out of working out... Really!

Twana, come on! You are unhealthy and need to stop being like this... Your kids both work out for crime-a-neeze sake! Quit being a lazy slug. The couch will wait for you when you're done.

Thats it! Im going for a long walk today Im walking the kids to school and walking for 30 minutes one way and back. Hopefully I dont get rained on :)

Love and Health,

Cheese... :-/

2010-04-09T12:23:00.000-07:00

Okay so I had every intention of doing well today. I woke up early for the staff meeting at work. My boss was asking me to complete a bunch of stuff and realized tonight was the booster club Bingo night at the kids school. Ugh! I forgot to ask for a shift swap!

Boss man says he will cover me tonight if I help him out tomorrow. Ok cool... Uh wait, you close tomorrow! Seriously? NOT COOL! Crap.

So now Im feeling a little stressed out because my weekend already sucks but do I get a break, nooooo. I have a split shift today and now I have to close again tomorrow??? DAMN-IT!

Anyways, I left after the meeting I went to my mom's house where my daughter was at (she's in afternoon kindergarten). I get there thinking I will eat some oatmeal for breakfast but do I??? Of course not!

Now a lot of people have a trigger food, one that once you eat it you eat it until its gone or you cant eat anymore. Mine? Cheese. Good cheese. Ugh... My total weakness.

So Mom has Horseradish cheddar in her refrigerator. So I decide to have 2 oz. I have the points so why not... Yeah wrong! I ate it slow at first then mindlessly ate the second half. Then I walk my butt back into the kitchen and get the rest of what was left. I at 14WWP in cheese... That was 5 oz people!

Do I feel horrible about it? No. Do I think I should have stopped with my first trip? Yes. Do I understand why I went back? Not really. What I stress eating? Probably.

So Now I have very few points left for the rest of the day. Careful for the rest of the day should keep me from getting out of control on my daily points but I wish I could have just left it alone. Oh well, its done -- Moving on.

Tangent over :-)

Love and Health,

Do you find it hard getting back on track?

2010-04-06T21:26:00.001-07:00

So how many of you have ever been doing well then one little thing derails you? I remember the last time I lost weight I was doing so very well...

I was down 65 lbs. I had been working at it for 6 months and was on a roll. I went to my uncles wedding and ate some things I shouldnt have. I honestly know that it wasnt just the food that lead to my spiral out of control but it was significant enough that I remember the food and the feelings that swelled up inside. I was an absolute frenzied beast. Fuel that feeling by personal drama with the hubs and I am a wreck!

Fast forward 3 years and I am at it again. During that 3 years I helped mend a strained marriage, gained 75 pounds, changed jobs, sent both my babes to school, and found myself so unhappy and unhealthy that I was sure I would be on my deathbed by the time I was 40. I am 28 and have developed very poor health from my eating/lack of activity habits. I am now a type 2 diabetic with early symptoms and side effects. My liver is very toxic. My kidneys are strained. I suffer from headaches, backaches, foot aches, muscule cramps, huge mood swings, and extreme lethargy.

January 27th I weighed in at 252.4 that was down from the very highest that I have ever weighed in at 260.2!! I was at the point I was very very seriously thinking that I was going to get gastic bypass surgery due to my health and my lack of willingness to make the changes I needed to. I saw myself losing and gaining and losing and gaining myself to my early grave. I scared myself because I only knew how to lose then gain. The only time I have ever maintained was in the 250's. I stayed within 5 pounds for a whole year! Now maintenance has NEVER been something I ever have done so I just dont see myself doing this. Now I realize I must learn this step. It WILL take time. It WILL take an open mind. It WILL take patience.

If I am going to be around for my children I have to learn how to be a healthy person INSIDE as well as out.

Wow, I totally went on a tangent and I apologize. I just thought it would be good to share and have you share if you saw yourself getting out of control and how or if you brought it back.

Love and Health,

Interview with my babies:

2010-03-13T20:04:00.001-08:00

Interview with my babies:

1. What is something your mommy always says to you?
Connor- Stop when you're full
Teagan- I love you

2. What makes your mommy happy?
Connor- When I behave
Teagan- When I listen to her

3. What makes mommy sad?
Connor- When I misbehave
Teagan- When I don't listen to her

4. How does your mommy make you laugh?
Connor- By wrestling and tickling me
Teagan- By tickling me

5. What did your mommy like to do when she was little?
Connor- Play with friends
Teagan- Maybe color or sumthin'

6. How old is your mommy?
Connor- 28
Teagan- 28

7. How tall is your mommy?
Connor- Im guessing 10 feet
Teagan- Uh... 6 inches long

8. What is her favorite thing to watch on TV?
Connor- Cold Case or American Idol
Teagan- The cooking channel

9. What does your mommy do when you arent around?
Connor- Works or Shopping
Teagan- just hangs out on the couch

10. If your mommy becomes famous what would it be for?
Connor- Being rich
Teagan- Soccer (What!?!? LOL)

11. What is your mommy really good at?
Connor- Telling me what to do.
Teagan- Writing in cursive

12. What is your mommy not very good at?
Connor- Erasing Blubber (bwah hahahaha)
Teagan- Doing sign language

13. What does your mommy do for her job?
Connor- Sell Phones
Teagan- Count phones

14. What is your mommy's favorite food?
Connor- Im guessing enchiladas
Teagan- Maybe ham or chicken

15. What makes you proud of your mommy?
Connor- When you make me exercise
Teagan- When you go to work by yourself

16. If your mommy were a cartoon character who would she be?
Connor- Sandy from Sponge Bob
Teagan- Ms. Mommy

17. What do you and mommy do together?
Connor- Go shopping together
Teagan- Cuddle on the couch

18. How are you and mommy the same?
Connor- We are both human and both have genes...not like the ones you wear
Teagan- Our fingers and eyes

19. How are you and mommy different?
Connor- You are a higher age and Im only 7
Teagan- You work and I dont

20. How do you know your mommy loves you?
Connor- You kiss me and hug me
Teagan- Because she says that

21. What does your mommy like most about your daddy?
Connor- He's your husband. Thats sorta personal to you guys... (OMG LMAO)
Teagan- That he loves you very much

22. Where is your mommy's favorite place to go?
Connor- Shopping at Sherm's
Teagan- Taco Bell

How fun was this!? Connor is 7 and Teagan is 6... Gems of my life for sure!

Love and Health,

In tears right now... What a message.

2010-03-09T12:28:00.000-08:00

So I was just watching an episode of the doctors and stumbling on the web reading a story of a man who also had developed type 2 diabetes and reading that the average life span of a diabetic is only about 20 years. That struck a chord with me as I read it.... 20 years... That would make me only 48. Possibly blind, missing toes, heart attack, kidney failure, stroke, ALL by 48! That means I wont be able to see my children have children, or possibly see them get married!

I have heard it all before but heres what really got me: On the Doctors, there was a man who wouldnt stop smoking and he had issues that put him at even higher risk for an early grave.

His family recorded a short movie called "Life after Jack" showing interviews of what they missed about their dad/husband/brother. I immediately was filled with thoughts of my family without me, what would they say, what would I miss, would I be missed, how could I knowingly leave them early to fend the world on their own!

It took seconds for me to be in tears. I really dont have any excuse but selfishness for why I dont take better care of myself!

I feel horrible about where I have let myself get to but the good news is that I am only 28 and not 48 and still have time to fix it.

I can see myself as a happy, healthy, active mom/wife/daughter. I honestly have to make a life change. I must be more active. I must make healthy food choices to fuel a healthy happy body.

I am so very ready and will never be perfect but will work to be a good example.

Love and Health,

why did I look?

2010-03-02T13:02:00.000-08:00

So I have been trying to weigh on fridays just to keep from obsessing over the scale and the number. I want to concentrate less on that stuff and more on being healthy and letting the weight take care of itself along the way.

Now Sundays we always go visit my dad and have dinner. So knowing that each Sunday we end up having a horrible dinner either Abby's Pizza or some high calorie fat laden dinner at their house you would think I could prepare better and make sure I dont go overboard.

Its just horrible that Pizza is such a trigger food for me. I eat one piece... Okay doing good but then I mindlessly grab piece two and then three and coat them with waaayyyy too much ranch dressing. Now I could enjoy it without the ranch but do I? NOOOooooo.... Why would I do that?

Its okay, its done and today the scale is up 2 1/2 lbs... Its only tuesday and Im gonna work at getting those extra pounds off but grrrr...

Hopefully I learn my lesson eventually so I dont keep doing the two steps forward one step back dance.

On a more positive note, I am loving the way I feel when I eat well! I really have missed that feeling of my body regeneration happening and feeling clean and healthy.

The next step is to start walking 3-4 times a week. I really need to start moving more!

Today I have done well. Got some Kale and potatoes in me and I feel fantastic about feeding my body good stuff :) I need some water though. I have got to start drinking more water and less diet soda!

Love and Health,

Headache...UGH

2010-02-24T18:26:00.000-08:00

So today has been a very lazy day.

I woke with a weird headache and a funny feeling. I just cant get rid of it. This is the first visit from TOM since starting ww again.

I didnt eat a whole lot yesterday. I wasnt hungry. I am more hungry today but still with this headache nothing sounds good...

I got my haircut yesterday. I really like it :)

Gonna eat soon, Im hoping I feel better afterwards.

Love and Health,

What is my deal today?

2010-02-23T21:48:00.000-08:00

So I'm sitting here freaking ready to burst into tears for anything! I mean I watched a funny, and I mean FUNNY mom song to the horse racing song and I had to fight back tears. Im grouchy and emotional. It totally feels hopeless. I know its temporary but... UGH.

I also have had almost no appetite today.

TOM is almost gone and I feel like Im in my PMS week right now... Im all messed up.

My face is breaking out but only because Im not taking care of it.

I feel like I totally need to re-evaluate my priorities...Im uber lazy and just cant break that cycle it seems...

Love and Health,