Weight Progress

Friday, May 7, 2010

Special occasions. Do you allow yourself to splurge?

Its my anniversary today and I am definately planning to be off plan this weekend as we are traveling out of town. Now this doesnt give me a free ticket to go crazy but I plan on enjoying myself. I will try to make good choices but Im not going to stress about this one little weekend.

I just had a YUMMY little treat that my hubby brought home as a surprise :) Salted Caramels. OMG this is a party in your mouth! Im sure they are probably 3 points or more a piece and I ate two but my goodness were the bestest treat ever!

He also brought these home!

Do you allow yourself "special" off plan times? Or how to you deal with these occasions?

Love and Health,

10 years ago...

Today is my 10 year wedding anniversary.  Through all the crazy times we have had, the hard times, the good times, the fun times, the sad times, we have stayed together.

It hasn't always been easy but I am very happy we have made this milestone in our lives.

I love you sweetie.

Wednesday, May 5, 2010

Kempo X from P90X, Eat my shorts!

Man I feel fantastic! Let me tell you why :)

A year and half ago I bought my husband the P90X program and would NEVER have attempted this very scary workout. I mean, something that causes such a quick transformation must have some serious repercussions afterwards. Yikes! I was vowing to never make myself go through that torture.

Well, I have made myself start working out lately and have been attending turbo kick and zumba classes when I can. I believe I have made it to 5 classes now.

Monday I did Zumba and it was a weak workout! I mean I did sweat but Im crazy; When I work out I want to feel like I am gonna fall over when Im done. Zumba just cant do that for me.
I went to Zumba because I couldnt go to Turbo Kick because I had to work.

Tuesday I couldnt go to Turbo Kick because my husband worked late and Tuesdays schedule for us is super busy: School, Gymnastics, dinner, Soccer, Swimming. Turbo class overlaps gymnastics and dinner but is across town. I cant go if hes working so I didnt go.

Wednesdays I usually go to Turbo Kick at 5:30 but we had Cinco De Mayo dinner plans so I didnt go today either...

So instead of missing another workout, I worked out at home!! I loved it too! Hubby and Little T (daughter) worked out with me too. Mister C (son) started but quit 20 minutes in.

So heres why Im proud. I did the Kempo X from the P90X series and I ROCKED THE HOUSE! I kept up with the video and felt strong and amazingly powerful. I was always so scared to do this workout but I did it and did it well!

I feel just awesome right now :)

Have any of you done the P90X?

Love and Health,

Word Worthy Wednesday

So this weeks Word Worthy Wednesday isnt really pretty or decorated but I dont think it needs it.

So often in our journeys to health we begin to stress about what may come, what the scale may say, how will we control ourselves at the dinner party.  We also dwell on past experiences (not failures) that have given us less than expected results.

All we can do is focus on the now.  How will you live your now?
Love and Health,

Tuesday, May 4, 2010

Just ate so now I need a nap?

So I have been doing pretty well this week.  I have been keeping things in check and even continuing to work out when I can.  (My work schedule is super crazy)

I have been noticing for a few months that anytime I eat I feel SUPER tired afterwards.  I used to think it was just that I ate the wrong foods and it was a side effect of my diabetes.  But now that I have been eating better and keeping my carb intake under control I was hoping it would subside.

Im sitting here feeling like my eyes are gonna close on me as I type this.  I ate roasted brussel sprouts and a turkey patty with no breading or bun.  Not a refined carb in site and I still feel like Im just gonna pass out.  It definately makes me question my original theory.

If anyone has any advise as to why food makes me so tired that would just be awesome!

Thanks everyone :)

Love and Health,

Wednesday, April 28, 2010

Time happens no matter what your choices are and a Word Worthy Wednesday

So the last time I was on weight watchers my mom and I were both going to weight watchers together. I was losing weight at an average of about 10 lbs a month. My mom was doing great too but she was losing at a slower rate. She would see me 1.5-2 pound loss each week next to her .5-1.5 loss each week and get discouraged. Sometimes I wouldnt want to tell her how much I lost and one week after a small gain the week before I lost 3.5 pounds and just lied about how much I lost.

One day when she had done everything right and the results werent there she was almost in tears. I felt horrible that she was sad but I was so proud of her for making the right choices that week.

I looked at her and said, "This week would have went by even if you were eating the wrong foods, huge portion sizes, and not exercising. How does it feel knowing you made the right choices during that time?" I felt like someone had just rung a bell inside my head.

If I do nothing good for myself time goes by; if I make good healthy choices time goes by. It is NOT the end of the world either way.

Of course that thought rang true. Three years ago I stopped working on making good choices and guess what? Three years of bad choices is now behind me and I am now working on making choices that positively impact my life DAILY. By focusing on today I will see another 3 years go by. My choices during the days that make up that 3 years, 10 years, 25 years, 70 years will determine my quality of life.

If you have today, make the best choices that you can. Just remember, you will have tomorrow too :)

It is so important we focus on the positives and successes that we accomplish. Yeah, everyone gets in a funk now and then but its the positive thoughts that pull us out.

I challenge you to be proud of yourself! I leave you with this quote that I know so many of us will relate to:

Our world surrounds us with tools needed to be overweight, self conscious, and unhappy. It takes effort, more effort than anything else in this world for us to change that. It takes soul searching, it takes forgiveness, patience, a consistent effort, it takes growing as an individual. It is absolutely something that you can do. You just have to keep trying.

Love and Health,

Saturday, April 24, 2010

When the scale doesnt say what it should

So this week I followed plan very well. I had several of my weekly points left and I even did turbo kick one day (I usually dont exercise so this is good for me!) I weigh in at home each friday and all I wanted to do is make it past the 30lb mark this week.

I hopped on the scale and duh duh duhhhh I lost .4 this week. That isnt even 1/2 a pound people! So I immediately felt bummed but then I thought to myself, this week was FULL of successes! Who cares if the scale wasnt one of them! It is NOT about the number at this point! It is so much more~ Becoming a healthy, engergetic, and long living mother, wife, and daughter. I want to be a role model to my kids by more than do as I say not as I do.

I know the right answers I just need to follow them and over time I will become 100% of everything I know I am able to be.

Ahhhh... Life has been hectic this week but I wont let it control me. I am ready!

Love and Health,

Wednesday, April 21, 2010

You Are What You Eat

This video definitely defines what my mind shift as been. Check it out! You Are What You Eat

Love and Health,

Turbo Kick!

Another victory! I did a turbo kick class and Im super happy I did! I feel good and so excited I followed through. I was gonna do the Zumba class but my friend said the Turbo Kick class was a better workout. Boy was she right! Im still sweaty! LOL.

What did you accomplish today that made you proud?

Love and Health,

Word Worthy Wednesday

So exercise has ALWAYS been something I have had a hard time getting "around" to. Even the last time I lost weight I did most with diet and a few walks. The last time I exercised consistently was in junior high. I was working out 3-5 times a week for a couple of years.

So I felt this was definitely relevant. I have a plan though. There are several classes that I can attend at the YMCA where Im already a member for the kids. Im going to make a schedule of all the classes and when they are and commit to at least 3 each week. I will have 7 work outs to choose from. I think little victories may just lead into a pattern of lots of victories :)

What is your favorite form of exercise? How did you get started?

Love and Health,

The Little Successes that make a Huge Difference

My appetite has been insatiable these past couple of days. I have had a ton of stress this week at work. I found out Sunday that we are being audited on Tuesday. That means two things: 1. I have very little time to make sure everything is as right as possible. and 2. I have to work on my day off.

We visit my dad and his family to keep in touch and the kids can see their grandpa. Most of the time we end up going out for pizza :( Pizza is a cheesy goodness that I have a hard time eating in moderation but I have been working hard and doing better.

This week though they are going to do a late easter dinner. His wife's cooking is always fad laden, overly salted, and never has enough veggies to balance the meal. Ugh... "She's cooking??" says my 7 year old. "Yes honey, we need to be polite and not complain like last time" Son rolls his eyes.

She serves ham, heavy cream mashed potatoes, cream gravy, large dinner rolls, baked beans with hotdogs (weird right?), and halved ears of boiled corn on the cob. Now Im rolling my eyes.

I tried to eat sensibly but my stressful day at the office plus not eating a snack before we left I ate more than I should have.


Get to the office early and lunch is packed. I ate my oatmeal and almonds quickly and got to work. Ahhh! By 1:00 I have to run a quick errand so I pick up 1/2 a subway sandwich because IM STARVING! Back to work and Im there until 6:00 were again I forgot to snack when I got hungry and now again feel STARVING. Pair this with a very stressed woman and you have snack searching Mama...

We are eating at my moms and they make Tilapia and steamed broccoli, cauliflower, carrots and asparagus. I eat slowly to try and enjoy my yummy food and felt okay after dinner. A little calmer and happy I didnt eat junk.

We went home to get the kids ready for tomorrow and then it strikes like a huge brick. Stress hunger. I have to go back to the office and make sure we are ready for tomorrows audit. I grab my wallet and tell my husband that I feel a junk night. He's like okay cool! (Silly man)

I head to the office and by the time Im done (nearly an hour and a half later) I realize the activity and distraction I am no longer craving all the junk!

I go home and get ready for bed ready for tomorrow :) Ahhh successes!


Get to work at 5:45am for the audit. Not much sleep the night before considering I got home at 10pm. Sigh. Its supposed to be my day off. Anyway I had a few snacks packed. I stopped and got a small fatfree sugar free coffee. Victory #1 :)

Audit commences and I snack on a few almonds here, a couple of triscuits there as we go making sure to keep myself calm and hunger at bay. Eight hours later we are done and we got a green! Yay! Victory #2 :)

I made dinner instead of going out. We had gymnastics after school but soccer practice was canceled and I had time before swim class! So we ate at home. Victory #3 :)


I realized how motivated I began feeling since I saw my choices that helped me after the bad one I made Sunday. I realized EVERYTHING is about balance! Maybe Im learning more this time than previous times. I realized Im gonna get this right as long as I make little victories along the way! How empowering.

What were some of your successes this week?

Love and Health,

Saturday, April 17, 2010

Down 4!

So, this week has gone very well. I am finding that focusing on the blog a little bit has helped to deal with the stress moments a little :) I have also been stumbling other blogs and have found some great blogs that I began following. I feel so motivated right now to keep making the right choices.

And how exciting that Roni posted my Word Worthy Wednesday Quote! That was super exciting - Thanks again Roni! You have been such an inspiration for me through the years. You are fantastic :)

I have to get kids ready for bed and bathtime, storytime, and bills await.

I appreciate all of the visitors that might trickle over from Roni's blog. I hope you find something that may have to coming back another time. I am just getting started but I will keep at it!

Love and Health,

Wednesday, April 14, 2010

Word Worthy Wednesday

Jamie Oliver's Food Revolution

So have you seen Jamie Oliver's Food Revolution? I am in FULL support of this movement! Both of my children maintain a healthy weight and an active lifestyle. Both are willing to discuss nutrition and health at any time and BOTH love to help prepare healthy home cooked meals.

Now I on the other hand began gaining weight around 7 years old. I remember in first grade we had to weigh at school. At 7 years old I weighed in at an average 57lbs. I remember that day distinctly. You see, my mother was an obsessive dieter and constantly was complaining about being overweight. As a child I was VERY aware in my mind that people eat a lot of food, get fat, and diet this way then diet that way.

By the time I was 10 I had gained 43 pounds and was a quite chubby but still tall for my age 4th grader. There was a girl in my class who weighed 69 pounds at 10.... I remember hating her.

I began my dieting struggles with my mother around that time. You see she was turning 30 and was losing her mind! Everyone always told her, "You think its hard to lose weight now, wait until you're 30" I mean it was full on starving, binging, richard simmons, weight watchers, susan Powter, mayo clinic, cabbage soup and so on craziness. I sadly was along for the ride. I stopped growing taller at about 10 1/2 and was 5 feet tall. Everyone had caught up to my height but my weight continued to creep up.

My weight has climbed a lot over the years all because I never saw a healthy relationship with food...

I believe in what Jamie is doing... It ALL starts with our kids... We are the ones who have to make the change for them!

Please watch his acceptance speech for the TED award http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jIwrV5e6fMY. I cry every time I have watched it.

This is a great article as well: http://eating.health.com/2010/03/05/school-meals-matter/

I encourage you to take the initiative to change your childrens world for the better. It begins in the home. It begins with you!

Love and Health,

Tuesday, April 13, 2010

On a roll and feeling great!

Okay so for 3 days I have done well, I mean actually on plan and feeling good about it. It only takes one day as my favorite blogger Roni from Roni's Weigh has said before. Okay so now the eating is back under control and I have promised myself that it is now time to get more active. I need to find something I like doing... such a struggle.

I even am a member of a gym... grrr. why am I grrring? Oh probably because I am already talking myself out of working out... Really!

Twana, come on! You are unhealthy and need to stop being like this... Your kids both work out for crime-a-neeze sake! Quit being a lazy slug. The couch will wait for you when you're done.

Thats it! Im going for a long walk today Im walking the kids to school and walking for 30 minutes one way and back. Hopefully I dont get rained on :)

Love and Health,

Friday, April 9, 2010

Cheese... :-/

Okay so I had every intention of doing well today. I woke up early for the staff meeting at work. My boss was asking me to complete a bunch of stuff and realized tonight was the booster club Bingo night at the kids school. Ugh! I forgot to ask for a shift swap!

Boss man says he will cover me tonight if I help him out tomorrow. Ok cool... Uh wait, you close tomorrow! Seriously? NOT COOL! Crap.

So now Im feeling a little stressed out because my weekend already sucks but do I get a break, nooooo. I have a split shift today and now I have to close again tomorrow??? DAMN-IT!

Anyways, I left after the meeting I went to my mom's house where my daughter was at (she's in afternoon kindergarten). I get there thinking I will eat some oatmeal for breakfast but do I??? Of course not!

Now a lot of people have a trigger food, one that once you eat it you eat it until its gone or you cant eat anymore. Mine? Cheese. Good cheese. Ugh... My total weakness.

So Mom has Horseradish cheddar in her refrigerator. So I decide to have 2 oz. I have the points so why not... Yeah wrong! I ate it slow at first then mindlessly ate the second half. Then I walk my butt back into the kitchen and get the rest of what was left. I at 14WWP in cheese... That was 5 oz people!

Do I feel horrible about it? No. Do I think I should have stopped with my first trip? Yes. Do I understand why I went back? Not really. What I stress eating? Probably.

So Now I have very few points left for the rest of the day. Careful for the rest of the day should keep me from getting out of control on my daily points but I wish I could have just left it alone. Oh well, its done -- Moving on.

Tangent over :-)

Love and Health,

Tuesday, April 6, 2010

Do you find it hard getting back on track?

So how many of you have ever been doing well then one little thing derails you? I remember the last time I lost weight I was doing so very well...

I was down 65 lbs. I had been working at it for 6 months and was on a roll. I went to my uncles wedding and ate some things I shouldnt have. I honestly know that it wasnt just the food that lead to my spiral out of control but it was significant enough that I remember the food and the feelings that swelled up inside. I was an absolute frenzied beast. Fuel that feeling by personal drama with the hubs and I am a wreck!

Fast forward 3 years and I am at it again. During that 3 years I helped mend a strained marriage, gained 75 pounds, changed jobs, sent both my babes to school, and found myself so unhappy and unhealthy that I was sure I would be on my deathbed by the time I was 40. I am 28 and have developed very poor health from my eating/lack of activity habits. I am now a type 2 diabetic with early symptoms and side effects. My liver is very toxic. My kidneys are strained. I suffer from headaches, backaches, foot aches, muscule cramps, huge mood swings, and extreme lethargy.

January 27th I weighed in at 252.4 that was down from the very highest that I have ever weighed in at 260.2!! I was at the point I was very very seriously thinking that I was going to get gastic bypass surgery due to my health and my lack of willingness to make the changes I needed to. I saw myself losing and gaining and losing and gaining myself to my early grave. I scared myself because I only knew how to lose then gain. The only time I have ever maintained was in the 250's. I stayed within 5 pounds for a whole year! Now maintenance has NEVER been something I ever have done so I just dont see myself doing this. Now I realize I must learn this step. It WILL take time. It WILL take an open mind. It WILL take patience.

If I am going to be around for my children I have to learn how to be a healthy person INSIDE as well as out.

Wow, I totally went on a tangent and I apologize. I just thought it would be good to share and have you share if you saw yourself getting out of control and how or if you brought it back.

Love and Health,

Saturday, March 13, 2010

Interview with my babies:

Interview with my babies:

1. What is something your mommy always says to you?
Connor- Stop when you're full
Teagan- I love you

2. What makes your mommy happy?
Connor- When I behave
Teagan- When I listen to her

3. What makes mommy sad?
Connor- When I misbehave
Teagan- When I don't listen to her

4. How does your mommy make you laugh?
Connor- By wrestling and tickling me
Teagan- By tickling me

5. What did your mommy like to do when she was little?
Connor- Play with friends
Teagan- Maybe color or sumthin'

6. How old is your mommy?
Connor- 28
Teagan- 28

7. How tall is your mommy?
Connor- Im guessing 10 feet
Teagan- Uh... 6 inches long

8. What is her favorite thing to watch on TV?
Connor- Cold Case or American Idol
Teagan- The cooking channel

9. What does your mommy do when you arent around?
Connor- Works or Shopping
Teagan- just hangs out on the couch

10. If your mommy becomes famous what would it be for?
Connor- Being rich
Teagan- Soccer (What!?!? LOL)

11. What is your mommy really good at?
Connor- Telling me what to do.
Teagan- Writing in cursive

12. What is your mommy not very good at?
Connor- Erasing Blubber (bwah hahahaha)
Teagan- Doing sign language

13. What does your mommy do for her job?
Connor- Sell Phones
Teagan- Count phones

14. What is your mommy's favorite food?
Connor- Im guessing enchiladas
Teagan- Maybe ham or chicken

15. What makes you proud of your mommy?
Connor- When you make me exercise
Teagan- When you go to work by yourself

16. If your mommy were a cartoon character who would she be?
Connor- Sandy from Sponge Bob
Teagan- Ms. Mommy

17. What do you and mommy do together?
Connor- Go shopping together
Teagan- Cuddle on the couch

18. How are you and mommy the same?
Connor- We are both human and both have genes...not like the ones you wear
Teagan- Our fingers and eyes

19. How are you and mommy different?
Connor- You are a higher age and Im only 7
Teagan- You work and I dont

20. How do you know your mommy loves you?
Connor- You kiss me and hug me
Teagan- Because she says that

21. What does your mommy like most about your daddy?
Connor- He's your husband. Thats sorta personal to you guys... (OMG LMAO)
Teagan- That he loves you very much

22. Where is your mommy's favorite place to go?
Connor- Shopping at Sherm's
Teagan- Taco Bell

How fun was this!? Connor is 7 and Teagan is 6... Gems of my life for sure!

Love and Health,

Tuesday, March 9, 2010

In tears right now... What a message.

So I was just watching an episode of the doctors and stumbling on the web reading a story of a man who also had developed type 2 diabetes and reading that the average life span of a diabetic is only about 20 years. That struck a chord with me as I read it.... 20 years... That would make me only 48. Possibly blind, missing toes, heart attack, kidney failure, stroke, ALL by 48! That means I wont be able to see my children have children, or possibly see them get married!

I have heard it all before but heres what really got me: On the Doctors, there was a man who wouldnt stop smoking and he had issues that put him at even higher risk for an early grave.

His family recorded a short movie called "Life after Jack" showing interviews of what they missed about their dad/husband/brother. I immediately was filled with thoughts of my family without me, what would they say, what would I miss, would I be missed, how could I knowingly leave them early to fend the world on their own!

It took seconds for me to be in tears. I really dont have any excuse but selfishness for why I dont take better care of myself!

I feel horrible about where I have let myself get to but the good news is that I am only 28 and not 48 and still have time to fix it.

I can see myself as a happy, healthy, active mom/wife/daughter. I honestly have to make a life change. I must be more active. I must make healthy food choices to fuel a healthy happy body.

I am so very ready and will never be perfect but will work to be a good example.

Love and Health,

Tuesday, March 2, 2010

why did I look?

So I have been trying to weigh on fridays just to keep from obsessing over the scale and the number. I want to concentrate less on that stuff and more on being healthy and letting the weight take care of itself along the way.

Now Sundays we always go visit my dad and have dinner. So knowing that each Sunday we end up having a horrible dinner either Abby's Pizza or some high calorie fat laden dinner at their house you would think I could prepare better and make sure I dont go overboard.

Its just horrible that Pizza is such a trigger food for me. I eat one piece... Okay doing good but then I mindlessly grab piece two and then three and coat them with waaayyyy too much ranch dressing. Now I could enjoy it without the ranch but do I? NOOOooooo.... Why would I do that?

Its okay, its done and today the scale is up 2 1/2 lbs... Its only tuesday and Im gonna work at getting those extra pounds off but grrrr...

Hopefully I learn my lesson eventually so I dont keep doing the two steps forward one step back dance.

On a more positive note, I am loving the way I feel when I eat well! I really have missed that feeling of my body regeneration happening and feeling clean and healthy.

The next step is to start walking 3-4 times a week. I really need to start moving more!

Today I have done well. Got some Kale and potatoes in me and I feel fantastic about feeding my body good stuff :) I need some water though. I have got to start drinking more water and less diet soda!

Love and Health,

Wednesday, February 24, 2010


So today has been a very lazy day.

I woke with a weird headache and a funny feeling. I just cant get rid of it. This is the first visit from TOM since starting ww again.

I didnt eat a whole lot yesterday. I wasnt hungry. I am more hungry today but still with this headache nothing sounds good...

I got my haircut yesterday. I really like it :)

Gonna eat soon, Im hoping I feel better afterwards.

Love and Health,

Tuesday, February 23, 2010

What is my deal today?

So I'm sitting here freaking ready to burst into tears for anything! I mean I watched a funny, and I mean FUNNY mom song to the horse racing song and I had to fight back tears. Im grouchy and emotional. It totally feels hopeless. I know its temporary but... UGH.

I also have had almost no appetite today.

TOM is almost gone and I feel like Im in my PMS week right now... Im all messed up.

My face is breaking out but only because Im not taking care of it.

I feel like I totally need to re-evaluate my priorities...Im uber lazy and just cant break that cycle it seems...

Love and Health,